August 29, 2010
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Goddag!
I'm in Denmark! It's so weird to think I'm here. I was almost reluctant to come. I've been away from home, family, and Sean for so long, I just want to return back to my "normal" life. I'm so tired of traveling and always being uncertain of when I'll see Sean again. It's like I'm in this alternate reality, called "grad school," where time is suspended and I am temporarily in this life that is way different than everyone else I know from back home. Not having a car is a big thing. Not being in the perfect world of Orange County is another. Dealing with things that would never be issues in OC is something that I think sets me apart from the rest of the people I grew up with. I'm always looking at FB pics of all my friends and the lives they have. They all have a crapload of nice things (cars, clothes, gadgets, STUFF) and seem to seek out self indulgence to its fullest and in every way possible. That's how to live the OC life, right? Not that having fun and enjoying yourself is wrong. I just find my life very different and maybe I am judging the rest of my peers now that I'm out of CA. In all seriousness, California IS the best place to live - comfort, convenience, weather, wealth, culture, variety of people and cultures, FOOD, environment, outdoor activities, music & arts, style, everything. I definitely agree that some people are NOT meant to live in California. I've met a lot of those people in the MidWest. They definitely would not appreciate all the things California has to offer - one of the main drawbacks is the driving everywhere thing, but hey, just move to NoCal. Oh yeah, and there's this other thing, called Materialism. My current housemate here in Denmark is from Germany, and I feel so spoiled thinking about all these possessions I have, and how little she has, but is totally fine with it. Isn't it crazy how much our possessions have a hold on us? I was thinking about all the money I'm getting by being here - it's a lot, at least for grad students. The only thing is that I need receipts for everything. So I've been trying heavily to spend it on food and public transportation. I look at the menu and try to not hold back at all, which I usually do at home, and then of course, I order a drink, too, and then I eat, and then after I'm done, I instantly start thinking about the next meal. After all of this, I'm so dissatisfied and wonder what the point is in spending all this money on food that just makes me chubby in the tummy. I get all this money reimbursed, and then what do I do with the money? Well, I guess I save it for something like a down payment on a house, etc, etc, etc... But if/when I get a job after all this, how much is this money worth to me now? More now than later right? So I should spend it now, right? But on what? More gadgets? More food? (I suppose I could eat sushi every day hehe). I don't want to always be in a need for more and more things so I just try to stop myself now. Okay and then the moment I decide I'd splurge a little on housing when I get back to Evanston, this is what happens.. so Meyke owns this super nice Condo in downtown Evanston, the same one that Jerry Springer lives in (he has the penthouse of course), and her cousin lived with her before, no problem. Before I come to Denmark, we move my stuff in and the doorman reports us to the manager and then the manager tells Meyke that there's all these rules: $250 move in + $250 move out fee, plus fines if you don't move in at the right time or break some rules. She also is not allowed to lease <1 full unit and the only people who can stay with her long term are family. It looks like we will not risk it and I will probably try to find another place, like Harold's, which is fine, but it's not luxury, like Meyke's. Meyke's place has an ELEVATOR. Can you imagine that? I can hardly, because most affordable buildings in Evanston are old and of course do not have elevators, nor do they have central a/c, nor do they have non-creaky walls/floors, nor do they have washer/dryers in each unit, nor do they have more than 1 bathroom for more than 2-3 bedrooms, nor do they have parking structures with an I-GO car on site. Nor do they have really nice balconies on the 19th floor looking out to the lake! Ughhh... These should be normal things, right? (except for the lakeview). So after all this, I'm trying to come to grips with it, and realize that IT'S OKAY. I'll still be fine without these things. I can delay, even more, trying to live a normal comfortable life. I think it's God trying to humble me yet again, and tell me that I'm really not THAT DIFFERENT than the rest of my OC friends, and I still desire these materialistic things, including comfort, and God never said he'd make like a genie and grant us a comfortable life, right? If anything, we should never be too comfortable and be striving for other things, like living sacrificially for others. It's a lot harder than it sounds and it requires more than just being a nice person. I still have no idea how to live this way, but I guess this is something I'll be learning as I finish the first quarter century of my life (2 more weeks!) and head into the scary age of 26-going-on-30.
Now for the fun stuff. Today Melanie, her friend Manfried?, and I went to this castle in Hillerod. It was pretty cool and we got to see more of the countryside of Denmark (majority of Denmark outside of Copenhagen) as we took the bus there. All the stores were closed and only some restaurants were open. Sometimes it feels really weird not having many people around, but I guess people are used to it since they grow up this way. (SoCal is so overdeveloped!) I think I'd be uncomfortable living in this kind of place long term, but perhaps if I had Sean with me, I'd get used to slowing things down and enjoy being in the middle of nowhere...hmm. Actually, No, I don't think I could ever get used to that. lol. California Gurl 4 life.
The End.
