I think I’m gonna go Xanga Premium. haha. NOT because I’m an obsessive blogger, but because maybe I used to be and I kinda want to archive all my old posts. Ones I’ve had since senior year of HIGH SCHOOL. The good ole NHS days…where ignorance was bliss and our biggest worries were what dress we’d wear to the next formal dance. Speaking of which (sorta related), but Miss Schlitz dragged me into this Cradle Fundraiser (no idea what it is still) but it’s at the Ritz in CHI-cAgo. We’re volunteers for this event where mega rich people pay lots of money to have us serve them cocktails…thus, we get to dress up! Isn’t that exciting? PHO sho! (just because I love pho) haha. Anyway, another reason for achiving and privatizing those old posts is so that I have a little more privacy (duh). I know no one is looking at them or stalking me, BUT the fact is, someone could! And I think I used to be pretty open and truthful in some of the posts, or at least hint at it, and the thought that someone could think they know me so well just by reading a blog and never meeting me is a little scary, no? Maybe not. Well, either way, I want to take those down from public domain. My fault for putting up such personal items? Sure, but that’s the point of this all, right? People thinking their words are so imporTant and impactful because they’re writing something and it’s getting published (by Xanga) and it’s there for the world to see. Well, what I’m saying IS imporTanT! haha. Every last word. Oh, so I was looking at some other people’s Xanga’s…and they get so many hits and so many readers and so many comments! I got nuttin on them. =/ But anyway, for you few special readers out there, my really old posts are coming down soon, so if you wanna be really stalkerish, you could read up on ‘em and catch up with the last 6+ years of my life.
Yeahhhh. Past 6 years of my life. A lot has changed. But, surprisingly, a lot has NOT changed. I realize everyone goes through growing up changes and “finds” themselves whatever jibberish, but honestly, I really don’t think people change that much. Sure, some values change, appearances change, eyes are opened, but I truly believe that the core of that person does NOT change. There’s just some things that are so engrained and hardwired into you that you really can’t escape them. Take Sean, for example. He’s from a small town outside of Buffalo, NY where people grow up climbing trees and swimming in the pond in their back yard. Well, no matter how long he lives in CA, he will ALWAYS talk funny. hahahahaha. =P Besides those regional things, though, I think whatever you’ve learned or habits you’ve picked up or beliefs you’ve formed in the first 20-25 years of life…well, that’s pretty much it. Another example…my brother, Titus. He’s 25 years old and has gout already! That darn purine in that uric acid. Well, no doubt about it, a result of his poor diet and lack of exercise. How many countless times have we told Titus to eat vegetables and fruit and just something other than eggs, noodles, and meat? Yeah, we’ve told him, but of course my parents have never put their foot down. He’s been a stubborn mule his whole life (not just with eating), but in everything. Now Tim and I know it seems almost a little too late to change his ways. My mom gives in and my brother won’t listen to whatever my dad tells him. Ugh, so frustrating. Okay, yes, eating habits, people can change, but with other things…iono. Just thinking about all the people I’ve known a long time (some who’ve moved out of Irvine, some who haven’t), they all haven’t changed that much. Huge generalization, I know, but I really don’t feel like thinking much more about it.
More realizations on coming back home:
1) I’d never want to live at home again, even though I have a great relationship with my parents.
2) I am so judgmental of OCness. I can’t help it, but everywhere I go I can’t help but look at everyone and see how caught up in consumerism we are. I start getting angry internally because the sidewalks have no weeds and all the apartment complexes have swimming pools and all the streetlights have sensors and all the houses are “little boxes on the hillside, little boxes made of ticky-tacky…” (haha) and everything is so darn perfect and clean. Why does that make me mad? Shouldn’t I feel lucky I come from such a nice place? Ahhh, drives me nuts. And then when I go places I feel like I don’t want to look like a local OC resident, just so I’m not categorized with the very people I’m judging. It’s horrible and totally conflicting internally.
3) I still want to come back to Orange County. I dunno…it’s the OC for goodness sake! haha. Well, despite the comfiness, I love being around the people I’ve known my whole life, even after not seeing them for awhile. I like how they don’t see me as this “PhD grad student in engineering” but just as “Steph” – short peppy asian girl. Ya know? It’s like, Yeah, I like proving to others that I’m a bit brainy, but then I think about it and I’m really not proving much at all. And boy am I glad that I “didn’t go to Harvard!” (awesome song).
4) Not everyone knows how to use a dish washer. haha. My new roomie called me today to ask me how to use the dishwasher in our new apartment in Evanston. Isn’t that cute?! Love it. haha. Yeah, just amazing how differently we grow up.
5) My dad still forgets our names. He calls Titus – Mochi, me – Titus, and Mochi – Steph. He can’t remember the names of his supposed “favorite” music artists or sports figures. He repeats the same thing 3 times over in 1 minute. I’m a little worried for the future…
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