October 11, 2006

• Finally...

  ...we have internet again.  AT&T DSL and customer service and maintenance people suck king kong balls.

  I've been thinking about the past a lot and it's not coming back to haunt me, but it's making me miss my life back in California.  It's hard starting over...in more than one aspect.

  Life here in Evanston is chill.  It's getting chillier, too.  hehe.  Thursday is expected to have a high of 42F.  Did you know that if people never talked about the weather when starting a conversation, they'd have nothing to say some 28% of the time?  (or maybe 18%?  i forgot).

  I met up with Michael Strenk in Chicago and that was awesome.  A familiar face is always nice. 

  My friends and roommates here are cool, but I'm just not used to having ALL ENGINEERing friends, and hanging out with only ENGINEERS.  Don't get me wrong, engineers are cool people, seriously.  But I'm not used to only hanging out with one group/type of people.  On the other hand, it's something different and enriching, but I always feel that it makes you susceptible to building up and living in your own "bubble."  I'm starting to think that everyone lives in their own bubble in some kind of way.  Our bubble currently exists of: 1. concerns of selecting an appropriate advisor, 2. finishing quantum mechanics homework without fudging too much of the algebra, 3. staying awake during Tuesday afternoon colloquiums, 4. yoga and other various group fitness classes, and 5. cooking food to save money.  This is seriously all we think about with the occasional thoughts of "Oh, let's go to Chicago!", which are very sparse since our free time is sucked up by the previously mentioned items, but more plainly put, sleeping, eating, SPACin' it up (gym), and homework.  For the past month I feel like we've been adjusting to and creating this own Materials Science world of ours and I wonder if this is how it is for a lot of other people out there.  What does it mean to have a global perspective?  What does it mean to be aware of issues outside of your own life/school/city/state/country?  You will never REALLY know what it's like to be this person or to live in this place or to experience this person's tragedy unless you yourself were that said person.  So how important is it that we strive to understand the lives of the people around us, advocate for those who need it, physically help those who can't help themselves, share our lives with people other than the people directly involved with our daily lives?  I went to Thailand this summer and was part of some missionary work, a different kind, where our jobs were to help bring in money/income for the organization so that they could use it for other suborganizations.  Now, I do believe we were a help and we could actually see (and count) the (monetary) consequences of our help.  But...what now?  I'm in grad school now.  I really don't have the time to be doing that kind of stint again.  And no, it's not because I'm just not making time for it, but it's because WE REALLY DON'T HAVE TIME.  How concerned should I be in doing something in my life other than engineering?  Sure, I'm definitely one to believe in a balanced life, but it really can't be balanced right now.  This is my job, I'm still a student.  I don't just go to school, but I think about it when I come home and when I eat and before I sleep and when I shower and when I wake up, always thinking about that freakin equation that just wouldn't work out right.  I'm going CRAZY.  I haven't had the time to just really sit and think and ponder and question my existence.  I just exist.  I'm a robot (in my robot voice). 

  ...okay, coming back to sanity.  I just feel emotionless and I really can't do anything about it.  Either that or I barf out all these emotions at once, and at this time, they don't make sense so I just dismiss them at once and conclude that I've gone mad.

  Point being...we finally have internet "and that has made all the difference." - Robert Frost

  • 2:28 am
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